Support a family member, friend or loved one
1. Things you can do if a family member, friend, neighbour or co-worker tells you they are experiencing family and domestic violence, including coercive control (or knows someone who is).
- Believe them and take what they say seriously. Every instance of violence will be different. Domestic violence is not always physical; it can include financial, sexual and coercive control.
- Listen patiently without interrupting or judging, and don’t ask too many questions about what has happened, as this can be re-traumatising.
- Make sure the person knows it is not their fault, and they are not to blame for the abusive behaviour. Reinforce that if they are experiencing any form of abuse, they are ‘not making a fuss’ by seeking help to stop the abuse.
- Don’t make excuses for the person who has hurt them or blame alcohol, other drugs or mental health issues or life stresses for the abuse.
- Have helpline numbers on hand to provide.
- Offer to help them explore support services and resources.
- Understand that they may not be ready, or it may not be safe for them to leave. Don’t push them to act or judge them for the actions they do, or do not, take.
2. Know how to direct them to the right services:
- Have helpline numbers and support services on hand to provide, including:
- Women’s Domestic Violence Helpline - 1800 007 339.
- Men’s Domestic Violence Helpline - 1800 000 599.
- 1800RESPECT - 1800 737 732
- MensLine Australia - 1300 78 99 78
- Sexual Assault Resource Centre - 1800 199 888
- In an emergency dial 000
- Offer to help them explore support services and resources.
If someone discloses that they use violence or controlling behaviour, offer helpline numbers and encourage them to speak to someone who can help with changing their behaviour.
More information and resources about coercive control are available via the Coercive Control WA information hub.
Learn about family and domestic violence and gender-based violence
3. Learn about gender-based violence, including coercive control, what it is and why is it important to take a stand.
You can visit the Coercive Control WA information hub and access the following links for information and resources:
- Our Watch
- eSafety Commissioner
- ANROWS
- What is domestic and family violence?
- Let’s Change the Story: Violence against women in Australia
- Violence against women: Sport can help change the story
- The National Principles to Address Coercive Control in Family and Domestic Violence
4. Learn about financial abuse and the resources and services available to assist people in these circumstances. Your toolkit is a good starting point. You can also access Bankwest’s information on financial abuse.
5. Read a book from the reading list put together by the State Library of Western Australia. Or, if you are a member of a book club, why not suggest a book from this list to read:
Hear from victim-survivors about family and domestic violence
6. Watch and listen to these stories that put survivors of family and domestic violence at the centre:
- '16 Days, 16 Stories’ - created in collaboration between the State Library of Western Australia and the Centre for Stories, this is a collection of 16 courageous stories presented in solidarity with survivors of domestic violence. (These can also be accessed via the State Library of Western Australia website)
- Tender Podcast Series - Apple Podcasts - a thoughtful podcast series about what happens when women leave abusive relationships.
- Domestic Violence in Australia Q+A
- SBS series Safe Home
Please note: the stories may contain content and themes which some listeners may find distressing.
Take action in your life
7. Attend the 34th March Against Domestic and Family Violence on 25 November 2024 at Forrest Chase, Perth. For more information go to the March Against Domestic and Family Violence - Centre For Women's Safety and Wellbeing webpage
8. You may want to consider a financial donation, or giving a gift that can help a family and domestic violence victim-survivor:
- The Salvation Army provides escape kits which contain new toiletries for women and children who have had to leave the house quickly due to violence.
- DV Safe Phone collects, repurposes and gifts mobile phones to victims of family and domestic violence. This is especially important for people receiving unsolicited messages from their ex-partner, and for people who may be concerned their phone is being tracked.
- Mettle Women is a social enterprise that makes gift hampers and trains and employs people who have experienced homelessness as a result of domestic violence and its profits go back to help: Go to the Mettle website.
- Donate your pre-loved corporate wear to Dress for Success Western Australia, a grass roots charity that supports the economic independence of WA women in need (including victim-survivors of family and domestic violence) by providing work-appropriate attire and a suite of career programs and workshops.
- Donate your Containers for Change refund to a relevant charity or cause (choose Human Services in the directory to search for organisations providing services to people experiencing family and domestic violence).
9. Ask whether your workplace has a policy or program to support victims-survivors of family and domestic violence to stay safe and connected to work.
- Refer to the Family and domestic violence at the workplace information sheet.
- Check out Our Watch’s Workplace Equality and Respect Home.
- Watch this Family and domestic violence leave video to learn about family and domestic violence leave under the new National Employment Standards.
10. Talk to your sporting club or organisation about what they are doing to support the campaign and address broader gender-based violence issues.
Point them to the Respectful Relationships Sport and Recreation Program and Equality and Respect in Sport Home: Preventing violence against women developed by Our Watch.
11. Volunteer your time or professional experience to community organisations, services and groups that are supporting people impacted by family and domestic violence and sexual violence.
- You could foster animals through the RSPCA’s Pets in Crisis program which cares for pets of victim-survivors who have had to leave their home due to domestic violence. The program enables the animals to be cared for safely, until the victim-survivor can be reunited with them.
- For dentist professionals, the Healing Smiles program provides subsidised dental treatment to victims of family and domestic violence.
- Home design enthusiasts could donate their time or new home décor and furnishings to the Worthy Save Haven program which creates beautiful and cosy homes for women and children escaping family and domestic violence.
12. By far, the largest cohort of victim-survivors in our community is children and young people. - talk to your children and other young people in your life about respectful relationships and check out The Conversation Guide.
13. Model respectful behaviour to your family, friends and work colleagues.
We all see and hear things that we know aren’t right. Speak up when you hear a sexist joke or challenge gender stereotypes when you see them. This can make a significant positive difference towards the safety and respect of women and others in our community.
The following resources can help guide you to call out sexism and gender stereotypes. If you aren’t comfortable saying something, there are also ways your actions can show you don’t agree with sexism and misogynistic remarks.
- 5 Ways you can call out your mates for sexist behaviour (for adults and young people aged 14 years +)
- 16 ways to ‘call it out’ (all age groups)
Always remember to be safe. These conversations and actions can be difficult and result in necessary discomfort but should never come at the expense of your personal safety and dignity.
Get involved in the 16 Days in WA campaign
14. Share 16 Days in WA campaign messages on social media. You can use our Digital resources.
15. Host or participate in an event or activity to raise awareness.
- See what’s happening in your area and support a community ’16 Days in WA’ event.
- Hold a morning tea, round table discussion or ‘lunch and learn’ session to raise awareness of the issues of gender-based violence.
- Host a fundraising activity to raise money for a non-profit organisation that supports women and children to be safe and recover from family and domestic violence.
- Establish a ‘Play Your Part’ wall at your workplace, sporting club or other organisation, encouraging staff and members to commit to actions to show their support in stopping family and domestic violence.
- Hold a dedicated sporting game. Ask your local club to dedicate a game to raising awareness of the issue of gender-based violence.
- Hold a book club session focussed on works dealing with issues of gender-based violence. Use the State Library of Western Australia’s reading list for inspiration.
- Invite someone who works with a family and domestic violence service to speak at your event. The Centre for Women’s Safety and Wellbeing and Stopping Family Violence can assist with ideas for speakers.
16. Wear something orange, including the campaign badge, throughout the 16 Days in WA campaign to spark conversations about what you can do to help prevent violence against women.
