To find services or supports you are comfortable with, please visit the helplines and support services page – use a friend’s phone if you think yours is being monitored.
You may be experiencing family and domestic violence even if the abuse has not been physical. It can feel confusing at times and is easy to brush off the signs for other explanations. It’s important to think about how you’re feeling and look for some of the possible signs that what you're experiencing, may be coercive control.
It doesn't have to be physical abuse. Family and domestic violence is often a pattern of different abusive behaviours, that a person uses over time, to control and harm someone, and it usually includes coercive control.
When perpetrators often use various behaviours to have control in relationships, it is not always obvious that the behaviours are abuse. No matter what form it takes, family and domestic violence is never ok. Find out more about what it is and how to recognise it.
Warning signs and indicators
The warning signs can be different in every relationship. Listen to your gut instincts if you start to feel uncomfortable, suspicious, or afraid. It's crucial to seek help as soon as it is safe to do so.
Do you feel unsafe?
If you’re experiencing family and domestic violence you might feel unsafe in your own home.
This could be because someone is:
Hurting you or being violent.
Making you feel scared or uncomfortable.
- Controlling you, making rules you need to follow, or impacting your independence.
- Hurting your child, other family members or pets.
However, it can be hard to recognise the warning signs.
Below are some questions to think about to help identify some of the warning signs and indicators:
- Do you feel uncomfortable or afraid?
- Do you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around someone?
- Do you have to be careful not to make someone angry or upset?
- Do they try and stop you from seeing your friends and family?
- Do they make you doubt yourself or question your reality?
- Do they bombard you with messages and phone calls throughout the day?
These controlling behaviours may appear harmless to others. Especially if they only see this once or twice and don’t know what happens behind closed doors.
If you’re feeling unsafe and concerned about your situation, visit our support and advice page.
Advice for friends and family
A friend or loved one might not be ready to share they’re experiencing violence but may show signs that something is wrong. If a friend or loved one does share their concerns with you it's important to take a safe and non-judgemental approach. Listen, and allow the person to choose what they share and decide to do next.
Signs of family and domestic violence you might notice in a friend or relative include:
- They become withdrawn from family and friends.
- They’re unusually quiet, lacking in confidence or depressed.
- They’re intimidated or afraid of their partner or family member.
- Their partner or family member criticises them, humiliates them or makes all the decisions.
- Their partner or family member controls how they spend money, what they wear and what they do.
- They have physical injuries.
- They’re using clothing to cover injuries.
Many perpetrators don’t show signs of violence in their relationships with friends, other family members, or colleagues. This may cause the victim-survivor (adults and children) to fear they won’t be believed.
The person experiencing family and domestic violence, is the expert in their own safety, and it is important they feel supported and empowered to make their own decisions, about what is right for them.
It's difficult to see someone you know experiencing family and domestic violence, but there are ways you can support them. Find out how to help someone experiencing family and domestic violence.
Child abuse
Children and young people are recognised as victim-survivors in their own right.
Children living in a home where there is family and domestic violence can be significantly impacted by what is happening in their home, even if they don't see it or hear it.
Children experience harm when they witness a parent deliberately hurt another parent, whether it is physical hurt, hurting their feelings, or hurting them by controlling their independence.
Children also experience harm when they do not see or hear the violence or abuse, and the impact on their wellbeing and development can be long lasting.
Child abuse includes any action or lack of action that causes harm or could harm a child. A child who is abused might feel scared, ashamed, or confused. They may be afraid to tell anyone, especially if the person hurting them is someone they know or someone in their family.
Find out what to do if you’re worried about a child or young person and how to recognise different types of child abuse and neglect.
Help and support
If you are ever concerned about your immediate safety, call the police straight away on Triple Zero (000).
If it's not an emergency, call Police on 131 444. Report suspected child abuse to the Child Protection Hotline on 1800 700 250 (24 hours, 7 days a week) or Crimestoppers on 1800 333 000.
Whether you’re currently experiencing family and domestic violence or suspect you might be, it is important to stay safe.
For those experiencing family and domestic violence, there are 24-hour helplines available. Use a friend’s phone if you think yours is monitored.
- 1800RESPECT: a national sexual assault, domestic family violence counselling service. Phone: 1800 737 732.
- Women’s Domestic Violence Helpline: provides support for women, with or without children, who are experiencing family and domestic violence in Western Australia (including referrals to women’s refuges). Phone: 1800 007 339. *This helpline is operated by Department of Communities, and your call will be answered by a child protection worker. We are here to help.
- Men’s Domestic Violence Helpline: provides telephone information and referrals for men who are concerned about their violent and abusive behaviours, and for male victims of family and domestic violence in Western Australia. Phone: 1800 000 599. *This helpline is operated by Department of Communities, and your call will be answered by a child protection worker. We are here to help.
- Kids Helpline: provides free support and counselling (talking through problems) to people aged 5-25. Phone: 1800 551 800
- Concern for a child's wellbeing: If you are concerned about a child's wellbeing, please contact the Department of Communities Child Protection Central Intake Team on 1800 273 889. If you are calling outside of business hours, Crisis Care is available on 1800 199 008 and provides Western Australia’s after-hours response to reported concerns for a child’s safety and wellbeing and information and referrals for people experiencing crisis. For more information about child protection, please visit Child protection.
- MensLine Australia: support for men and boys dealing with family and relationship difficulties. Phone: 1300 78 99 78.
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